I am thankful that, when my wife and I and some of our friends were resident assistants at Wisconsin Lutheran College, Matthew 18 was pounded into our heads as the approach to take in confronting sin. First talk to the person one on one. If the person does not repent bring a couple others. This approach works well to avoid miscommunication and to address a serious issue with a caring, personal touch.
Matthew 18 is really about dealing with a fellow Christian, a member of the church, who has embraced a sin. So the next step if the person fails to repent even after a group addresses their concern with him or her is to bring it to the church. If the person refuses to repent even to the church, then they should be treated as "a pagan or a tax collector"--in other words, like an unbeliever. They are no longer regarded as being in fellowship with the church. They have gone from fellow brother or sister in Christ back to "prospect" status. The term for this is "excommunication" (they no longer commune with the church). None of this is a power play, rather the motivation is love. The goal is to get the person to repent and return to the loving arms of his or her Savior.
Now excommunication from the church does not mean that person is to be shunned in day to day life by former friends and loved ones. Those people should continue to reach out in love, especially looking for opportunities to guide the person back to the Word of God. At the same time the relationship will have obviously changed, therefore you have to be careful not to give the impression that everything that happened is no big deal.
It's a sensitive process but one that we all, as sinners, should be thankful for. May we all watch out for each others' spiritual well-being and, when necessary, take the appropriate steps to rescue each other from falling away.
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